Day 8: Failing at Indifference

Dear Multiple Sclerosis:

Back in high school I was taught that hate and love are similar while love and indifference are truly opposite (thank you, Jan Garda). Therefore when I dislike someone or something after I initially bitch and moan about them (ooh, how I do love a good bitch and moan session 🙂 ) I find that I’d much rather ignore than hate said person or thing.

This is what I’ve done with you since you came into my life. I’ve had no desire to invest any time into you because I don’t view you as being worthy of my time. In the same way I wouldn’t hang with a racist, Satanist or homophobe, I don’t want to be your friend.

This made sense when I didn’t have any symptoms. However, now that you make yourself known with every step I take it feels like my indifference has turned into denial. Pretending you’re not here isn’t really serving me and my apathetic approach certainly wont help me get rid of you.

So I think going to switch gears and bring more compassion into our relationship. I’m going to allow myself to feel a deep sympathy and sorrow for you because you’re quite unfortunate as diseases go. You’re an auto-immune problem that attacks itself. You’re your own worst enemy and those are the hardest to defend against. I’m really sorry that you can’t find some relief from being your own neurological nemesis. All this self destruction must make the rest of your job even harder.

That sucks!

It would serve me and you to help you alleviate your suffering instead of being so aloof.

Please accept my apology, ~ LBP

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