Sometimes it feels as though America is doing a 28-day stint in rehab, but instead of accepting that it’s powerless against alcohol, it’s trying to decide if it’s powerless against grievance.

Hi, I’m MAGA. I’m an addict. An outrage-addict.

I was about to switch parties and start voting for non-felon candidates who want to give me universal healthcare, but then I turned on Fox News, and I dunno…

After an all-night bender full of rage-blaming women, illegals, and black folk, I woke up covered in Dorito dust with texts from a reverse mortgage company, American Hartford Gold, and the My Pillow guy thanking me for my purchase.

I’m so ashamed.

Then, after 28-days he gets out only to hear Megyn Kelly explain how 15-year-olds aren’t really children, so what’s the big deal. Karoline Leavitt says it’s time to move on.

So he does.

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